So I've been thinking: there is a very fine line between a guy being sweet to the apple of his eye and just plain annoying her (granted that it is probably true inversely, but I'm talking from my perspective here). It all comes down to whether or not the girl likes the guy or not. If she does like him, he could do something as minute as tie her shoe and she would find it sweet. But if the guy were to bring her chocolates or flowers or a rare copy of one of her favorite movies or anything else that one might think romantic or what have you, it is just annoying to the girl if she doesn't like him. I am speaking both from personal experiences here and from observing other guys. Take the movie Slackers (Columbia Pictures/Screen Gems) for instance. In the movie, the spastic "Cool" Ethan takes a keyboard outside the window of the object of his affection and sings a song he wrote for her. She is ever so annoyed with him because it was some guy she had no interest in at all standing outside her window at 2 a.m. singing some stupid song he wrote. However, if it had been David, the guy she was going for, she would have floated to the window with a blushing smile on her face, her chin resting on her arms crossed on the windowsill.

I overhear girls all the time saying how they want a guy to do those sweet things for them. Well, maybe there is a guy doing those things, but he's not the one you want so you don't notice it or just write it off as just another annoying thing. This also explains why many guys won't go out of their ways to do this kind of stuff. We aren't sure you want us to. We aren't sure you'll accept our gestures of affection. I've even heard some girls say "Those little sweetnesses are always accepted," but, as I've been pointing out, they aren't--only from who you want them from.

On a tangent topic, relationships are completely dependant on wanting it, as well. From what I see, no relationship would ever work if one of the two didn't want it to (which is why I believe my last relationship didn't work out). What I mean is, nobody is perfect, and to accept those imperfections in someone else requires some compromise. If you didn't want to put up with them, you wouldn't. But if you want the relationship to work, you will have to put up with them and get used to them. Of course, if something really does bother you about them, you can try to talk to the other person and see if they won't compromise a change for the sake of the relationship. (Don't be afraid to change someone. That's how relationships--and people--grow. But don't just change to please someone...you gotta draw the line somewhere.)

Anyway, where was I? You have to try to make any relationship work. It never just works. And when you stop trying, well that's the end of the relationship. That's what happened with my situation it seems. Things that she would normally put up with she no longer wanted to. Things she'd compromise on before were no longer up for discussion. And now that she has a new boyfriend, she is willing to put up with his shit, even if it's the same she refused from me...simply because she wants that relationship to work for now. So basically all I am saying is that relationships don't necessarily work out just because they are good and they don't necessarily end just because they were bad. It all depends on how much you are willing to give and take. But seriously, who hasn't figured that one out yet?

Yet another tangent subject, if a guy tells a girl she is beautiful or compliments her in some way, it's usually only a compliment if it comes from someone they want it from. Otherwise it's just another creep. For instance, there's a couple of girls at my school who are absolutely stunning. They make me want to recite ablib poetry to them. But I dare not say anything, as I fear they would shrug it off as if a mosquito was humming in their ears. Why do I fear this? Well, many girls in my experience are cynical, with that "better than thou so why are you talking to me" attitude. I've been told that I know exactly what to say to a woman. I've been told I have a way with words. Yet even when I say "the right thing", it does nothing if I'm not the right guy to say it to her.

Girls only think you're downright creepy if you try and compliment them in a way no other has when they want to hear it from someone other than you. Lots of guys would call one girl in particular "hot" and "sexy" and other of what I feel are more like degrading compliments. But she is absolutely beautiful. So gorgeous that every synonym I could come up with for strikingly attractive wouldn't do her justice. But so many have called her hot and such that it would mean nothing coming from someone as faceless to her as me, even though they are less degrading and more complimentary than what she gets from the guys she likes.

Basically, all I am really saying here is delivery is not everything, as the saying goes. Who is delivering plays a vital role in how it is taken. Espescially in the hormone-driven world of dating.