It isn't uncommon to see 17 year old girls with 21 year old guys (less common to see the converse) and the such. I've known and know a lot of girls who have either had a relationship with a guy that much older or are currently in a relationship as such. I must say, it usually sickens me to hear this, and I usually end up asking what they see in them. To me, it's the fact that they are older and therefore the girl feels more mature--in a sense better--than her peers. Of course, the girls seldomly admit that. The reply I get most often is: "Age doesn't matter," or "Love has no age limits."

I can't help but chuckle to myself. First, the mere idea of love is no more than a chemical reaction in our brains. It is usually a hightened sense of comfort developed after being with a person for so long that you no longer remember what it is like to be without them, thus you don't want to be without them. Either that or it is just a strong lust (love at first sight) that makes you feel weak without having that person... but that's another philosophy for another time.

It would seem that the only interest an older guy would have in such a younger girl is sex. Girls are very naive beings. In order to appear more mature to their peers, they will gladly date an older guy, even if it means they have to have sex. And older guys know this! Guys that go after these younger girls understand completely that they will have a certain amount of control over the girl, as the girl will be in a sense looking up to the guy for his "maturity" and "elder wisdom". Basically, a younger girl is just an easy target for sex. Granted, I do know one case where the two ended up married. They dated for over four years and got married because she got pregnant. However, she would constantly complain about her lover/boyfriend/husband and she is not very happy at all, and she has even told me that when she first started having sex with him she felt so much more mature than everyone else and that's the only real reason she was with him, only to acknowledge that it was a mistake on her part.

How can someone possibly believe that age doesn't matter? That's absurd! They are only saying that to make themselves feel better about the decision, though faced with the public's scrutiny. The fact of the matter is, with age comes experience (and thus maturity). Someone reaching the age of rated R movies has no business dating someone reaching the legal drinking age. The older person has been through high school and some college (or has started a career) and the younger one hasn't even graduated high school. How could they relate on any level? A person undertaking a pivitol point in their life can not work with a person who has been there and is currently undertaking an entirely different, more mature point in life.

Okay, I guess the age doesn't matter, but then again the maturity does, and that makes the age seem to matter. See, age isn't "just a number" as a lot of these couples will retort. Age is a level of maturity, especially in adolescence and the teen years when we all go through more changes (physical, mental, emotional, etc.) than we will ever go through for the rest of our lives. An older person needs someone on the same level of maturity as them to be happy with, same with a younger person. Otherwise, the chance of it working out is very slim. Granted, many people are less or more mature than their age should allow them (like if you grew up extremely fast due to homelife or are just immature due to being a junkie burnout), and in their case, it is expected and somewhat acceptable (I shudder) for them to date outside their age range. In those cases, they would less than likely find a partner their own age to be happy with. The whole point of this paragraph is that four years may not matter when it's like 26 and 30, but it sure as hell matters between 17 and 21, simply because of the experience gap between 17 and 21 is so much greater than 26 and 30.

Sorry if this little rant seemed hard to follow. I've been meaning to write about this topic for months. I had to get it out before I lost it again.

(For more information on legal age of consent in your area, visit http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm)